Originally posted on Facebook
by Blane Mather on Saturday, January 22, 2011 at 11:56am
Q) Where do the Bears go in case of a tornado?
A) Soldier Field. They rarely have a touchdown there!
Q) Why do they use real grass for the turf at Soldier Field?
A) So Bears fans can graze at halftime!
The Chicago Bears practice was delayed two hours today after a player found an unknown white powder on the practice field. Coach Lovie Smith suspended practice and called police and the FBI. After analysis, experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.
Q) Why was Jay Cutler upset when the Bears playbook was stolen?
A) Because he hadn't finished coloring in it!
Q) You know why Jay Cutler is so awkward around a phone?
A) He has a hard time finding the receiver!
A teacher tells her class that she loves the BEARS. Everyone agrees except one little girl. When asked who she likes, the girl said the Packers. The teacher asked why and the girl said "because mom and dad are fans". The teacher replies "that's no reason to like them, what if your dad was an idiot and your mom was a moron... then what would you be?" The little girl replied back, "a Bears fan."
Q) How do you get a Bears fan off of your porch?
A) Pay him for the pizza!
Q) How do Packer fans keep bears out of their yards?
A) They put up goal posts!
A Packer fan asks guy next to him at the bar, "Wanna hear a Bear fan joke?" The guy says, "Well before you tell it you should know something. I'm a Bear fan. The 6'2", 240 lb guy next to me is a Bear fan, and the guy sitting next to him is 6'5" 280 lbs and he's a Bear fan too. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?..." The Packer fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times."
Q) What's the difference between a dollar and the Chicago Bears?
A) You can get four quarters out of a dollar!
Q) Why doesn't Rockford have a professional football team?
A) Because then Chicago would want one!
The Bear family were in divorce court. The judge asked Baby Bear, “Will you live with Daddy Bear?” “No!” Baby Bear replied, “He beats me every day.” The judge said, “Then you'll live with Mommy Bear.” “No! She beats me every day too.” The judge replied, “Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?” Baby Bear said, “I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They hardly ever beat anybody!”
Q) Why do the trees in Milwaukee all lean to the south?
A) Because the Vikings blow and the Bears suck!
Q) What do you call a Bears fan holding a bottle of champagne after Sunday's NFC Championship game?
A) Waiter!
1 comment:
This is the funniest jokes i have ever read.Thank you very much for hard work.
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